I Need Help With an Abusive Boyfriend or Husband in the UK

If you’ve searched this, you don’t need convincing that something is wrong. You need to know what’s actually available to you, in practical terms, in England and Wales, right now. This is that information.

You are not required to call the police to get help

A lot of women hesitate to seek any support because they assume the only options are calling 999 or doing nothing. That’s not true. There is a wide range of support that doesn’t require police involvement unless and until you want it to.

Immediate safety

If you are in immediate danger, call 999. If you can’t speak safely, calling 999 and pressing 55 when prompted, or staying silent, will alert the call handler that you need help without you having to speak.

If you need to talk to someone confidentially, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline operates 24 hours a day, free and confidential, and can talk you through options including emergency refuge accommodation if you need to leave immediately.

Understanding your legal protections

In England and Wales, you can apply for a non-molestation order, which is a court order preventing your partner or former partner from using or threatening violence against you, intimidating you, harassing you, or pestering you. You do not need a solicitor to apply for one, though many women choose to have legal support.

You can also apply for an occupation order, which can regulate who lives in the family home, which matters enormously if you’re worried about being forced out, or unsure whether you can make him leave instead.

If you’re married or in a civil partnership and are considering separation, financial protections exist too, including the ability to apply for financial provision regardless of whose name is on the assets.

Legal aid

Domestic abuse is one of the few areas where legal aid may still be available regardless of your income, provided you can show evidence of the abuse. This evidence can include a letter from a GP, a domestic violence protection notice, or a statement from a domestic abuse support service. It’s worth knowing this exists, because many women assume legal aid isn’t available to them and don’t ask.

Financial preparation before you act

If you’re financially dependent or unsure what you’d have access to if you left, it’s worth understanding your position before anything else. This includes knowing what’s in joint accounts, what benefits or financial support you might be entitled to, and what a fair financial settlement might look like if you’re married. None of this requires you to leave immediately. It’s simply information that puts you in a stronger position whenever you decide to act.
You don’t have to do this all at once

Understanding your options is not the same as committing to leaving today. Many women spend weeks or months quietly preparing before they act, and that’s not a failure of courage, it’s often the safest and most effective way to leave.

If you want a practical starting point

The Women’s Railroad is a free, practical guide for women in England and Wales, walking through financial preparation, safe exit planning, and legal protections in plain language. No one needs to know you’ve read it.

Get the guide here

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*If you are in immediate danger, please call 999. This article is intended as general information and is not a substitute for legal advice specific to your situation.*