Money is not the only reason you stay. But it is one of the most consistent.
Leaving an abusive relationship is never simple. But one of the barriers that comes up again and again, and rarely gets spoken about plainly, is money.
Not because women are materialistic. Because abusers make money into a weapon.
What financial abuse can look like
It does not always look like someone taking your purse. It can be quieter than that. It can look like:
- Him being the only one with access to the bank account
- You having to ask for money for basic things like food or travel
- Him monitoring every purchase you make
- Stopping you from working, or sabotaging your job
- Running up debt in your name without your knowledge
- Making you financially dependent so that leaving feels impossible
If any of that sounds familiar, it has a name. It is financial abuse, and it is recognised as a form of domestic abuse under UK law.
You are not the only one
Over 62% of survivors have reported that financial insecurity made it impossible for them to leave. That is not a small number. That is the majority.
Is this what you are experiencing?
- Do you have to ask permission before spending money?
- Do you know what is in your bank account?
- Are bills, debts, or accounts in your name that you did not choose?
- Have you ever been stopped from going to work or keeping a job?
- Do you feel like you could not survive financially without him?
If you answered yes to any of these, that is worth taking seriously.
What you can do
You do not have to have everything figured out before you start. But understanding your financial position, what you are entitled to, what you can access, and how to begin separating your finances, is often what makes leaving feel possible at all.
The Women’s Railroad is a free, practical guide for women in England and Wales. It starts with the money, because that is where most women need to start.
No referral. No waiting list. No one needs to know you read it.
